hot_tramp: ten commandments kink (religion-kink)
she stole it fast & with a multitude of casualties ([personal profile] hot_tramp) wrote2013-03-29 08:02 am
Entry tags:

Kink etiquette

Is it me, or is this just as obnoxious as unsolicited dick pics and copy-pasted porn?

"I have an odd request for you. I'm in a D/s relationship and my Daddy has given me an assignment. I have to get five women to look at a picture of me in the lingerie Daddy bought me. I also have to get punishment suggestions from you. This is a public humiliation assignment, so it's really hard for me to do this. I hope you reply."

This was on OKCupid, mind you, not FetLife. I'm tempted to reply with some helpful hints about, I dunno, not using random strangers in your humiliation play, but I also kind of feel like I'm being a prig. What say you, interweb?
ellen_f: (Default)

[personal profile] ellen_f 2013-03-29 05:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Spam spam spam.

[personal profile] yallya 2013-03-29 05:51 pm (UTC)(link)
What makes you think she is actually a she?
caycetoo: (Default)

[personal profile] caycetoo 2013-03-29 08:50 pm (UTC)(link)
maybe an unimaginative domly dom who can't own his ineptitude?

Seriously, no idea. But yeah, I'd be annoyed.
digitalsidhe: (top close portrait)

[personal profile] digitalsidhe 2013-03-29 09:32 pm (UTC)(link)
This doesn't sound priggish at all. You never agreed to be connected with this person's relationship or their scene in any way. That's not "informed consent". Hell, that's not any kind of consent.

If you respond at all, I'd make it very clear that you have not opened the attachment, you are not looking at her lingerie pics, and while you're at it... yeah, what you said about not including random, non-consenting strangers in their public humiliation any kind of play.

Even if it were on FetLife, I'd say the same thing, unless it were in some group devoted to such things (as opposed to just a direct message to your inbox).

Turning people down does not make you "a prig"; it makes you sex-positive. Sex-positivity and sexual freedom have always included the freedom to say "no".

[personal profile] polydee 2013-03-29 11:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Yup. That's the core issue here. This is non-consensual involvement of you in their kink. Assuming that these people are what they claim, I'd guess that they are mistaking kink and consent to kink for consent to participate in theirs. There might be some hope for them in the long run, but at the moment they look like beginners to me. If you get the urge to reply, tell her she should be punished by having her picture taken wearing nothing but a pair of roller skates with training wheels on them.

[personal profile] yallya 2013-03-30 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
There is no kink.

This is a dude. He believes that most women are not very sexual. He believes that those who are, are indiscriminate. He believes that if he can get you to look at sexy pics and comment on them -- ANY comment -- then you will be irrepressibly compelled to bang him.

It all makes sense in Nice Guy logic.

[personal profile] polydee 2013-03-30 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
While you're probably right about part of it, the Nice Guy in this saga should coming riding in to save her from this awful beast.

[personal profile] polydee 2013-03-30 02:56 am (UTC)(link)
Very split personality.

[personal profile] cobalt_blue2 2013-03-30 06:58 am (UTC)(link)
In my limited experience, the men who want punishment and who want to be "feminized" usually ask to be required to (or offer to) dress in women's clothing or lingerie.

[personal profile] cobalt_blue2 2013-03-30 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
It seems to me that it should be the dom who has to reply. As his punishment.
cheshire: (Default)

[personal profile] cheshire 2013-03-31 10:43 am (UTC)(link)
Why oh why is there no *love* button!
cheshire: (Default)

[personal profile] cheshire 2013-03-31 10:45 am (UTC)(link)
The lack of consent is creepy. There are fetlife groups where this would be fine (in the same way as swingers clubs it is not indecent exposure to start fucking in front of people) but ok cupid. Noooooo.