I didn't say they can't talk about it. I said they *wouldn't* talk about it. It would make them uncomfortable to discuss sex with someone who is not their lover.

I don't think my concerns are particularly realistic. I guess that was unclear when I wrote. I was venting all my anxieties, including the ones that have little or nothing to do with reality.

Cohabitating boyfriend doesn't seem to equate condomless sex with intimacy. I haven't asked him, mind you. But I would be very surprised to learn he felt that way.