Kink etiquette

[hot_tramp]

Is it me, or is this just as obnoxious as unsolicited dick pics and copy-pasted porn?

"I have an odd request for you. I'm in a D/s relationship and my Daddy has given me an assignment. I have to get five women to look at a picture of me in the lingerie Daddy bought me. I also have to get punishment suggestions from you. This is a public humiliation assignment, so it's really hard for me to do this. I hope you reply."

This was on OKCupid, mind you, not FetLife. I'm tempted to reply with some helpful hints about, I dunno, not using random strangers in your humiliation play, but I also kind of feel like I'm being a prig. What say you, interweb?

Comments

[digitalsidhe]

This doesn't sound priggish at all. You never agreed to be connected with this person's relationship or their scene in any way. That's not "informed consent". Hell, that's not any kind of consent.

If you respond at all, I'd make it very clear that you have not opened the attachment, you are not looking at her lingerie pics, and while you're at it... yeah, what you said about not including random, non-consenting strangers in their public humiliation any kind of play.

Even if it were on FetLife, I'd say the same thing, unless it were in some group devoted to such things (as opposed to just a direct message to your inbox).

Turning people down does not make you "a prig"; it makes you sex-positive. Sex-positivity and sexual freedom have always included the freedom to say "no".

[polydee]

Yup. That's the core issue here. This is non-consensual involvement of you in their kink. Assuming that these people are what they claim, I'd guess that they are mistaking kink and consent to kink for consent to participate in theirs. There might be some hope for them in the long run, but at the moment they look like beginners to me. If you get the urge to reply, tell her she should be punished by having her picture taken wearing nothing but a pair of roller skates with training wheels on them.

[yallya]

There is no kink.

This is a dude. He believes that most women are not very sexual. He believes that those who are, are indiscriminate. He believes that if he can get you to look at sexy pics and comment on them -- ANY comment -- then you will be irrepressibly compelled to bang him.

It all makes sense in Nice Guy logic.

[polydee]

While you're probably right about part of it, the Nice Guy in this saga should coming riding in to save her from this awful beast.

[hot_tramp]

Her punishment should be making a profile on CollarMe and replying to every single dude who contacts her. *shudder*

[cobalt_blue2]

It seems to me that it should be the dom who has to reply. As his punishment.

[cheshire]

Why oh why is there no *love* button!

[hot_tramp]

Yeah, the message seemed to be straddling the line between "Would you like to do kinky things with me?" and "I AM DOING KINKY THINGS TO YOU!" I've seen enough seriously egregious examples of the latter that this seemed fairly tame in comparison. Ah, Return to Sender, I might miss you more than any other FL group.

[polydee]

Very split personality.